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My Birth Stories
My husband and I have been so fortunate to have two amazing kids with two completely different birth experiences. Both changed who we are, made our relationship stronger, and in the end gave us two happy healthy babies. The reason I am posting our birth stories is because I want to share what we have learned about becoming parents and to share the experiences that giving birth naturally can award you.
We also want to thank our Bradley Instructor Shelley Snyder and our amazing midwife Linda Johnson from Mother's Own Birth Center. They both not only helped us have the birth that was right for us. But inspired us to trust not only what we had learned through research, but to trust what was right for our baby, my body, and our family.
Background
Rob and I were definitely two people that trusted our doctors and believed that giving birth in the hospital was really the only way to do it. We didn't consider any other way--after all they know what's best. When we found out we were pregnant I immediately called my OBGYN, set up my apt and prepared for a traditional hospital birth. I had a great pregnancy and we were planning on having as natural a birth as you can in that setting. We had gone over our birth plan with both of the OBs in the office and felt confident.
Then I got PUPS about a month before Ethan's due date--September 5th. Basically PUPS gives you a really itchy rash all over your body. There is nothing the doctors can do and I lived in baking soda baths for the month of August. I was miserable and we decided to induce on September 10th.
Ethan 9/11/06
We arrived at the hospital at 6:30 pm on 9/10. They got us settled in, hooked me up to the monitors, and called my OB's' office to tell them we had arrived. We were so excited that the moment had finally arrived! At 8:30 pm my OB arrived and checked me--I wasn't dilated or effaced at all so she wanted to use a prostaglandin gel to get things going. When she started to apply the gel Ethan's heart rate plummeted. She freaked out--which freaked me out--and had me turn on my side. Which brought the babies heart rate back up. She then decided to switch to a prostaglandin that could be removed if the baby's heart rate went back down again.
The nurses then offered me an Ambient to sleep--doesn't that sound crazy? I sleep really well so I decided against taking it.
At 4:30 am my water broke and I immediately started having contractions. They were completely manageable and our excitement went up like ten fold. THIS WAS REALLY HAPPENING! Around 6 or so I had a shower and things felt like they were getting stronger. After my shower I was told that my contractions were not increasing in length and strength and that they weren't getting close enough together. They were going to start me on Pitocin at 8 am. I asked for more time and they told me that was the orders they had been given. So because we trusted our doctor we went with it.
After they gave me the Pitocin my contractions got really intense. Rob was fabulous at coaching me through and I was still managing on a birth ball and walking around. Laying down was awful I hated even the thought of getting in bed. They increased my pitocin again around 11 am and seriously things went to a whole new level at that point. I just didn't think I could do it--and then my doctor came in and checked me. He said that I was at a 5 or 6 and that it could be hours before I was ready to push. He just made me feel like I wasn't going to be able to make it and that an Epidural may help things along.
So at around 12 pm or so I got an epidural. I couldn't feel anything--which was really kind of disconcerting. I slept for an hour or so and woke up fully dilated--which made me feel even worse about having an epidural--I could have made it another hour! The nurses had me try pushing and after one push they had me stop because the baby was right there. They quickly got the doctor in and I pushed maybe 3 or 4 more times and Ethan arrived!
He was absolutely gorgeous, was immediately put in my arms for a couple of minutes and then was whisked away to be weighed, measured, and checked out. He came in at 7 lbs 11 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long. We started nursing as soon as we could and the rest is history. He's an amazing little boy.
We stayed at the hospital for just about 2 full days. The nurses pretty much left us alone and we felt like we were in our own little world. :) That part was pretty great. The part that was not great was that I was pretty hobbled after the epidural wore off. I could hardly walk and was incredibly sore. This lasted for a good two weeks and I used an ice pack at night for almost 2 months.
Looking Back
Ethan's birth was amazing because it gave us Ethan and immediately afterwards we were happy with the experience that we had with our OBs and the hospital. But honestly I think that was because we didn't know any different. After the birth I started to attend La Leche meetings, Latch On meetings, and joined a natural parenting group. I guess I couldn't believe how clueless we really were about how things work with OBs, hospitals, constant fetal monitoring, and the effects that drugs can have on you and your baby. I knew things would be different with our next baby.
Ella 9/20/09
Ella's birth was the opposite of Ethan's birth. After doing a lot of reading, research, talking with friends and meeting with Linda, we knew that having a homebirth with a midwife was the right birth option for us. We were excited to have the freedom to do what felt right for us during the birth and to be in the comfort of our own home, with family and a midwife that we could trust. We also decided to enroll in Bradley classes as well. Which educated us further and gave me the confidence I needed to trust that I had the tools, knowledge, strength and ability to do this.
I initially started having easy mild contractions around midnight on 9/19. We started timing them and they were about 5 minutes apart. At 2:30 am Ethan woke up with a wet bed--don't give you child a huge sippy before bed. :) So we were all up getting him taken care of when I started feeling like I might have either lost my mucous plug or was having bloody show. I went to the bathroom and checked--yup definitely bloody show.
After that we went back to bed and I woke up around 5 feeling like things were starting to progress so we called our family and Linda. My mom, sister, and Rob's mom got there around 6:30 am. We had told Linda to take her time and she got here around 8 am. Then things pretty much petered out. We had breakfast, I hung out on my birth ball and nothing happened. I had officially stalled out. I felt so bad that Linda had driven all the way out and here I was just sitting around. So at 11 am Linda decided to head home telling us to call when things started back up again.
Our family left to go get supplies for making lasagna and ended up taking Ethan over to my parents so that we could nap and have some alone time. So we napped, hung out, watched movies, and enjoyed ourselves. :) None of which we could have done in the hospital--I would have definitely been on Pitocin at this point.
Everyone came back for dinner--which was awesome! Thanks mom! Then we went on a walk to see if we could get things going again around 7 pm. Which totally worked. I started having more intense contractions almost immediately and we all just hung out--watched a lame Georgia O'keefe movie on Lifetime, and the moms and Rob had Kahlua and cremes. Again what hospital would let your moms get tipsy while you're in labor? At around 11 pm things got a lot more intense. I was really having to work through my contractions with Rob, on my ball, leaning over the couch, standing up and rocking. It felt so good to be in control of the situation though, really trusting that I could do this.
We called Linda around midnight and got my family back--they had left to get some sleep. Everyone was there by 1:30 am and Rob had the birth tub inflated and filled by then as well. Which at that point I really needed. The tub ROCKED! I felt so much better once I was in the water and like I could move so much more easily.
I think I started pushing around 1:45 am thinking it would go like Ethan and I would have her almost immediately. Well that didn't happen. :) Around 2 am I had my "I don't think I can do this," moment which Rob and Linda got me through. Then the only bad part of the whole thing happened--I still had a little bit of cervix left and it was starting to swell. So I had to not push through 2 contractions. There is nothing worse than going against everything your body is naturally trying to do. I just remember Rob holding and encouraging me and me slapping the side of the Tub--I had to do something to keep from pushing. Then I knelt on my knees and pushed with my next contraction. I felt my pelvis open and Ella was born at 2:28 am.
The entire experience couldn't have been more perfect. I leaned back in the tub holding Ella in my arms--what a serene moment. :) Ethan then came out of his room saying "baby" and patted my shoulder. I get tears in my eyes when I think about it. I don't think Rob or eye have ever felt so complete as a family.
After I passed my placenta and I got out of the tub, Rob, Ella, and I snuggled in our bed. Ethan lost interest and played as everyone got everything cleaned up.
We woke up the next morning to the sound of Ethan and Grandma playing in the living room. What could be better? I was sore but not hobbled like I was with Ethan and in the next couple of days I felt completely recovered. I think the big difference was that I could feel what my body was doing so I didn't push beyond what my muscles were supposed to do. I had a little tear just like with Ethan but Linda didn't feel like I needed to be stitched and I haven't had any problems since.
To Sum Up
I am so glad we made the decisions that we did for each of our births. It allowed us to experience both sides. I just wish every woman could experience a homebirth. I have never felt so empowered.
What I hope everyone can take away from this is that you have every right to birth in the way that is best for you and your family. Just educate yourself on the choices that you have. Giving birth can be an amazing experience not the scary one that our society has made it out to be. :)
Some of the books and movies that were really helpful for us were:
Books
The Thinking Womans Guide to a Better Birth: by Henci Goer and Rhonda Wheeler
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth: by Ina May Gasken
Your Best Birth: by Ricki Lake, Abby Epstein, and Jacques Moritz
Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way: by Susan McCutcheon-Rosegg, Erick Ingraham, and Robert A. Bradley
DVDs
The Business of Being Born
Orgasmic Birth
Websites
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